That is what I think.
Here's why.
First let me say, that I understand why we have the convention of apologies. From a very young age we are told that if we wrong someone we should apologize. They, in turn, should then forgive our wrong doing. While I realize that we will always unintentionally cause people pain, I don't think that apologies are the way to change this...and I don't actually think we can change this aspect of human interaction, only try and become more aware of our actions and how they affect others.
Apologies in actuality do nothing for the receiver...it does not change the past, nor does it really indicate that there will be a change in the future. At best it makes the trespasser feel a bit better about having done something that made you feel small and unseen as a fellow human being. I am a firm believer in the truism, actions speak louder than words. I don't want a payment of lip service if you are then going to go right back to the actions that undermine every word that just came out of your mouth. As Beatrice (one of my favorite Shakespearian leading ladies) said... "Foul words is but foul wind, and foul wind is but foul breath, and foul breath is noisome..."
I want no apologies. If your actions have caused me some kind of pain, then the only form of apology I want is for you to modify your actions. Ok, I can see some of you readers (if there are any of you?!) saying, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! You expect someone to modify their behavior, simply because you feel bad?!" To this I reply a modified yes. The modification is this...if you can't seem to go through life without often causing distress to others, then you should reflect on your behavior and take steps to understand why you are causing this reaction. Once you understand your behavior, then it is up to you to make those changes...or not. If you chose not...you won't have to remove yourself from my world, I am quite capable of making that step backwards.
I know convention won't change on this and many people on both the giving and receiving side of the apology would feel ill at ease without this social convention. But I say, if we could stand behind our good intentioned actions there would be a lot less need for this waste of breath.
